the ship and the Ocean

I've been listening to Casting Crowns in my car and today I listened to All You've Ever Wanted and had the idea for this poem. Well, the first few lines of it anyway. In the song, what specifically inspired the first few lines of this song was:

"Lord, I know I let you down, 

But somehow I will make you proud,

I'll turn this sinking ship around,

And make it back to You."

So then I wrote this poem. I'll share the song again just because it's worth listening to and it's one of my favorites. I guess I can relate to the lyrics in a way. 

I'm the captain

of a sinking ship 

and I try to turn around

but my anchor sunk into 

the depths and the sands

keep pulling the anchor 

Down...

Down...

Down...

Meanwhile the winds are 

blowing in my sails

and the stormy seas are

crashing against me

and the storm caused a

mutiny against me 

But I cry--oh, my God,

You're my Savior,

my Redeemer,

You're in control of the storm

You speak to the seas and

You hold the reigns to the winds

and You built this ship. 

It may feel like I'm sinking,

it may feel like my anchor is

pulling me down,

and it certainly feels like

all is against me,

but You're for me

and if my God is for me

then who can ever stand against? 

You turned this ship around

not too long ago 

and You declared:

"She's mine."

And You've been

 holding me

carrying me

so take this wheel from me. 

be the captain of my ship. 

Protect me from the mutiny,

Shield me from the winds ,

Gather me from the waves ,

Oh, my God, 

Raise this anchor 

and take me farther than I'd ever dreamed

I fear not what lies ahead

and regret what lies behind 

but You are with me

You are my peace and comfort

and I know You're never far,

always near 

and You hold me

so I'm not afraid. 

The storm I'm in won't last 

It'll be over soon. 

the winds can't blow me away 

from the God who saved my soul.

The sea can't drown me down

far from my Savior who loves me. 

This anchor can't hold me back

from doing what my God has called me to do. 

You spoke the seas into creation. 

You tethered the winds into their corners. 

You formed the storms into the skies. 

You sent this ship into the sea. 

You won't let it sink. 

Take this from me, Father. 

I know You won't let me sink. 

Take this from me, Father. 

I know You're in control. 

Take this from me, Father. 

I know You're holding me. 

You love me, Father,

More than I know,

You love me, 

You created me,

You saved me,

You're my Father 

and You have a plan for me,

and whatever it may be,

I know You'll carry me through

these stormy skies until 

I've fulfilled Your plan for me. 

So I will wait 

until I see what You have in store for me. 

And I know You'll carry me through. 

I believe You when You say,

"I've started this work in You, 

And I will see it through until completion."

Because when I'm ready to quit,

You're there to remind me why I can't. 

My heart is aching 

My ship's hull is breaking 

But I'm not sinking 

Because You're the ocean holding me up. 

my child, here I am

This weekend my brother and I flew to Ohio for my grandma's memorial service. Saturday, on the flight back, I closed my eyes and I was listening to music while trying to get a nap. I listened to Casting Crowns new CD Thrive, and their song, "Just Be Held," started playing, and I had the idea for the first few lines for this poem. I didn't write them down because I wanted to get some sleep, or try to at least, but I remembered them, and on the second flight I wrote this poem.  Here's the song if you want to listen while you read. :) 

Here I am 

there you were 

now you've come 

you've finally come.  

I pursued you,

even when you weren't 

looking for me,

I was watching over you. 

even when you weren't 

talking to me,

I was listening to you. 

I've known, I've always known,

your fears, your sorrows,

your worries, your faults,

your shame, your aching heart--

I know all of it. 

My Son bore all of it. 

And I love you and 

your imperfections anyway. 

You're beautiful,

because I am making you beautiful 

and I'm not just saying that. 

you're my child,

I am your Father. 

I know you're sad,

but not just sad--

you're heartbroken. 

And I know this world is hard on you, 

it was even worse to my Son. 

After all, he felt all of your 

sadness and brokenness. 

He felt what most saddens you. 

So when you're on your knees,

and what this world does to you

is streaming down your pretty face,

I'm there with you. 

I'm holding you, even if 

you can't feel my arms around you,

I have you in my embrace. 

Don't you worry child, 

I'm holding you. 

Give me your hand and 

I'll lead you through all of

life's trials and tribulations. 

Better yet, I won't just lead you. 

I'll carry you. 

You're never alone 

Nor will I ever leave your side. 

Even though you once left me,

I was always there for you,

And I will always be with you. 

Beauty and the beast

I'm a little surprised that I'm actually posting again in the middle of the week. It was starting to seem like two poems every Monday was becoming a regular thing. This one was written on my phone last night inspired by a quote by GK Chesterton: "There is the great lesson of 'Beauty and the Beast,' that a thing must be loved before it is lovable." 

Maybe it was a story of

Beauty and the Beast 

Except I was the beast 

And You were Beauty. 

But it's not a story

Where the Princess

Meets the beast and

They fall in love and 

she kisses him just as 

the last rose petal Falls and

he becomes human again. 

It's a story where 

I was no princess 

and the only beast was me. 

You're the one that showed 

Your grace and mercy. 

You're the one that 

First loved the beast. 

My sins had separated me

From You 

And before You,

 I was despicable. 

My wrongdoings had made

A beast out of me. 

But then You came along,

And You saved me from myself. 

You, Lord, You came down. 

Love came down from heaven 

To earth 

And on the cross Love bled for me

Beautiful grace and mercy died. 

You loved a world that 

Had fallen apart and 

You loved a beast that was broken 

By the things she had chased 

That wouldn't fulfill her soul. 

You came for me,

You took me in Your arms 

When I cried out to You 

Even though it had been 

A long time coming. 

Now You're making me beautiful,

You showed me Your beautiful

Picture of Grace and mercy 

And now You're giving me 

What I need to show it to others. 

So this is a story of

Beauty and the beast--

how Your beauty makes the beasts

Beautiful so they can tell anyone

And everyone so more can have

Your beautiful love. 

Savior

This is the second poem I wrote last night. 

Your arms are open wide,

showing Your nail pierced hands.

And I come,

falling into Your arms 

just to be held,

comforted by 

Your grace 

and Your love 

that You've lavished upon me. 

Jesus Christ,

You wore my crown of thorns 

You bore my cross

and they nailed You to it.

You suffered willingly,

for me, the sinner that

 didn't deserve it. 

You bore my weight 

You bore my guilt

the only perfect man in all of history,

the Son of God,

You felt all of my shame,

all of my sorrows,

all of my sins, all of my guilt

so that I can run to You,

Jesus my Savior,

unashamed, with no guilt,

so that You can now hold me 

in Your loving arms

and so that You can take my hand 

and lead me with 

Your nail pierced hands. 

And hallelujah! You rose 

three days after death,

You rose again! 

Death has no victory 

death has no sting

for You defeated the grave 

and rose victorious! 

the Sculptor

I tried to write some poetry all weekend, specifically poetry themed around Good Friday and Easter. While I did write some poems, I didn't like the poems enough to share them. Again, late last night, I succeeded in writing two poems on my phone. This is the first one. 

You're the Artist

that painted the only

perfect picture in all

of history, a painting

of pure grace. 

You're the Maestro 

that gives the songbird 

her cue and tells the whales

in the deep ocean blue

when to join the symphony 

of the waves sloshing

in the oceans that fit

in Your hand. 

You breathe into the trees

so that they might have 

the winds to rustle them up

or to bring their leaves down. 

You, my God, are the Creator

of all

You placed the stars in the sky

so that they might twinkle

and dance around the sun 

and the moon and the earth. 

You created it all, 

and yet You're also 

The Sculptor. 

You take me in all of my

imperfections and You 

chisel away at all of the things

that You don't want to be there. 

my pride, my bad temper,

my failures, my weaknesses,

You chisel them all away...

until all that's left is only what You

want to be seen--

Your light shining through the cracks

of my brokenness,

Christ on display for all to see. 

You are my Savior, my Creator,

my Father 

and You lavished Your love upon me,

of all people,

so that You might continue to sculpt 

me to be more like Your Son. 

meet your Maker

And the second one. You might be able to tell I wrote this one kind of late last night.  I read through this one and realized it might be a little weird, but that's probably just me because it's written a little differently. I remembered Psalm 139 when I wrote this.

Meet your Maker.

He created you...

No, better yet,

With His own hands He

Formed you, He designed you. 

He put those eyes there,

With that nose In between,

And in those eyes he put 

Just a drop of color

Are your eyes green...

Like the sea foam?

Or blue like the tide? 

Maybe they're brown

Like a teddy bear

Or hazel like a drop of golden sun

On a grizzly bear's fur? 

Maybe they're none of these colors. 

And then He counted every hair 

On your head and He colored

Every strand so maybe He chose

For you brown hair like your favorite

Flavor of chocolate or maybe 

Blonde hair like a yellow sundress

Or maybe your hair is black as night

Or red as fire or maybe it's blonde,

Like a strawberry. It could even be

highlighted with all of these colors or none of them.

But I want you to meet your Maker. 

He designed you, yes He did,

And He loves you very much,

He loves you so much that 

He sent His Son Jesus Christ

To DIE for you. 

Why? 

Because your Maker hates sin

And sin breaks His heart and your

Maker wanted to forgive you, 

So He could pour out

His love, His grace, His mercy,

On you of all people,

With your eyes that He colored

And your hair that He counted 

And your story that He wrote--

(Oh did I not mention that?)

Because He loves you more-- 

(He wrote your story in His book)

Than you can ever imagine-- 

(He knew you long before anyone else ever did)

And He will never leave you,

Nor will He forsake you. 

this is your Maker,

God the Father who created you,

He personally designed you,

He personally wrote your story,

And He personally sent His Son 

To suffer for you because

He loves you.

And how precious it is that He 

Is our Maker and the Creator of the universe

And yet He knows all of our needs 

And holds us in His thoughts and

In His arms, for we are His. 

He is your Maker. 

not by sight

This is the first of two poems I plan on posting tonight. I had the ideas for this and another poem thanks to two of the songs that were sung last night in church. By the time I was able to get around to writing this poem and the one I'll post later tonight, it was pretty late so I'm grateful that I even remembered what the ideas were. 

If I walked by sight,

I would've run into the walls

I put up around me a long time ago. 

I would've collapsed under 

The weight of these burdens and

I would've fallen over the obstacles 

Arising over the horizon like the 

Moon at midnight in the darkness,

Barely shining, unable to illuminate 

My trials, my tribulations,

Never would I have made it through. 

But thank God I walk by faith--

This faith that says I will not fear,

For my Father is with me and

He carries me through the storm. 

Not only that but He forms the storm

Into existence with His own hands. 

The hard times and the good times

Are no difference to Him for 

He is in control of everything. 

Thank my Father in heaven that

I walk by faith--the faith that says 

This mountain will move, not

Because I've come to push it

With my bare hands or that I

Dare believe I have the strength 

To get over it, but that I rely on 

The Rock of my salvation,

He who created the mountain. 

And if the mountain is to move,

It will move because it's Maker says,

"move out of my child's way."

My God, if You are to bring me to

This mountain for me to get over it,

I will not get over it because I have

The strength to climb it, 

But because i am weak,

And You are strong. 

pieces

(image not mine, here's the link to where I found it: pinterest )

A while ago I came across this image on Pinterest, and I absolutely love this picture. This guy is giving his broken heart to God. That's the way I see it. He's giving his broken heart to God, and God takes it because that's all He's ever wanted, and I really relate to that. God pursued me, and when I finally broke down before Him, He completely embraced me. So I wrote this tonight, thinking of the picture above.

I raised my empty hands

to You

and we both knew why

they were empty--

I handed my heart

to You

but I was cutting myself

on its jagged edges

and we both knew what

had broken it.

I tried taping it back

but it was too heavy with burdens

for the tape to hold

and I kept in there as it was,

not wanting to hand You the pieces

but then I grew too weighed down

by the burdens I couldn't carry alone.

So I picked up the pieces 

of that broken heart of mine

and I held them up

to You

and I said, looking down at

what was left of my heart,

"There's nothing else left

and I thought I was OK

but I'm not

never have been

never will be

unless I have You.

This brokenness isn't much

but it's all I've been left with

and You're all I need

I need You Father

Please I need You."

And You came and embraced 

my emptiness

and filled those broken places

and I'm not empty anymore

You said to me,

"It's okay, though you may

not see it now.

I'm here

always have been

always will be

you'll always have me

give me your brokenness, I'll fix it.

And I've given you all you need

shh, child, I hear you

just let me hold you, 

I'll carry you through this."

You're holding me

You're carrying me

and You keep reminding me

that You're always there

holding and carrying me.

This heart of mine

may be broken

but now Your glorious light

is shining through the cracks.